PANIC ATTACK

 WARNING : please do not read if it scares you

Please dont ignore panic attacks. Reach out to friends and family and trust your doctor..but mainly keep in mind panic attack is not life threatening. 

It has been 15 + days that i had a panic attack and i am still reeling under it's affect.  

As usual i was doing my mudra breathing exercises before my Sudarshana kriya yoga. I have been regularly practicing it for 25 + years. I felt breathless as if i am trapped in a box and trying to get out. I immediately opened my eyes came to the balcony and took a few deep breath and felt better. Later that night i had a slight congestion of the nose. But fell asleep. I was awakened by the feeling of breathless ness and woke up with a gasp ,, after which i could not lie down. I just kept walking around. After three days of sleeplessness i got into panic thinking if i lie down i will  not be able to breathe. I just sat down and cried. I have cried copious amount of tears crying alone, or clinging to husband and daughter or hugging the banister in the picture above..i have probably cried 52 years worth of tears

I am by nature quite bold. But panic attack broke my spirit when i was not able to do my daily much loved routines of drinking tea, reading, watching netflix, watching/doing reels..etc. i felt restless, breathless.i would not even pick cell phone calls. I have not played my wordament game on mobile, but kept cleaning the house..arranging cupboard, kitchen cabinets, my balcony garden. Only thought which kept me going was dont sit idle. Which made me overworked and more stressed as to 'what should i do next'..it was doubly scary at night when all else were asleep. I kept looking out to houses in the flat opposite that had lights on in them...probably night shift - work from home - people..thankful to them too. Also super thankful for my balcony. 🙏🙏

I had a thorough medical check up. Physically i was fine. (Doctor thinks it must be post meno pause symptom 🤔🤔)Mentally i was not. I started obsessing about relations staying alone and not being able to get immediate medical help, my daughter who had wheezing , other one with sinutisitis, felt guilty about not feeling empathy towards them, about people who died during corona/covid...all underwater movies. anything that related to breathlessness sent me into panic . Talked to counselor, took sleep medication from psychiatrist. I should have done that first..getting my sleep pattern corrected. I have always been healthy and dont take any medicines. So i thought i would get addicted to it. I began the medicine a week late. Once i began sleeping i felt slightly better. I still cannot settle down properly. I keep walking outside as well as at home till my limbs are tired and i am about to drop...i have walked till kanyakumari and back i suppose. I have my food standing. I am still afraid of being in a prone position. I do loads of auto suggestions . I dont eat many of favorite food especially deep fried one's.

I am slowly on the mend. I am afraid yet to travel long distance. Twice i made plans to travel and was overcome by panic and felt overwhelmed.

I have to do it slowly. Now i watch simple movies like persuasion on netflix, food videos..cannot watch my favorite crime movies nor read books...i have lost my appetite. I eat and drink water to sustain myself

Will share my road to recovery. I am not trying to scare anybody. Just sharing my experience. I am just sad most of the times...

My family members are terribly worried..they keep encouraging ,assuring me saying everything will be okay.

Niha came all the way from MP to be with me for a few days..akka and srikanth are very supportive...he actually took two days off, and had to cancel his ofc tour for my sake, which is a FIRST (and hopefully last) i must say. All our acquaintance are worried. They have never known me to be sick ☹️☹️

i will ever be grateful to them.

I would never wish a panic attack even  on enemies..not that i have any..o

I wrote this entire post standing up...(as in pic) husband is cooking today. Later i am planning to go out..will share how it goes.

Hope what I have written makes sense 

Have been doing reels on instragram attempting a semblance of normalcy...

Do wish me a better health folks. Thank you 🙏🙏

Story of appams

 

These golden appams have a special place in my heart. This is unfermented appam and no rice is used. Only skinless split moth bean dal, moong dal and bit of lentil. Soak overnight and next day, grind to a fine paste along with some green chillies, ginger and salt. Once the batter is ready give it a good beat with a spatula or a beater. Add finely chopped coriander leaves.

Me and my second younger brother had morning school while the other two had afternoon school. Our timing was 7.30 to 1 pm and theirs 1.30 to 5 pm. We would hardly meet. Also me and my bro had to wake up early for the morning school. Because I used to heat water for bath on the stove and once my water was hot I would keep another vessel for him. Later mom needed the stove for preparing breakfast. We lived in bank quarters and we did have a boiler in the bathroom which was always in a state of constant repair. 

We also had a gas stove. Gas cylinders were costly and were used only in times of emergency or sudden visit by guests. Standing in line at the ration shop and fetching sugar and kerosene oil for the stove were my responsibility. Though there were no cell phones or whatsapp in those times we always somehow knew when stocks would be available at the ration shop. 'ration madde raakel (kerosene), saakhar aale' loukar java'..otherwise stock would be over soon, not only that the ration shop owners would sell their wheat, rice, sugar, oil etc to the other grocers at a higher price and we ration card owners would be left in the lurch. 

Let me come back to these appams ..we call them aappo in konkani. Sunday was the only day we could have breakfast together. I would wake early and help Amma in preparing the chutney which was manual, on the grinding stone, which I enjoyed immensely.   Once everybody was up, we would sit around the stove and Amma served us hot appams..two each. It was a heavy cast iron appam griddle which could make 12 appams at a time. Amma is a good cook. Whatever she prepared turned out /turns out really yummy. Sundays were special. Afternoon she made us chicken curry or pulav..evening ended with amma preparing fried snacks, rose milk or ice cream all home made,and then all of us watching a movie on Doordarshan. If it were an art movie..brothers would go play cricket, sister and mom would go to their friends' place. Only me and dad would watch Basu bhattacharya films. We did not have friends...😊👍

Story of appam ends here 😊😊

ಇನ್ನಷ್ಟು ಕೇಕ್ ಗಳು

 ಇತ್ತೀಚಿಗೆ ಬಿಸ್ಕುಟ್ ಫ್ಯಾಕ್ಟರಿ ಯಿಂದ ಹೋದ ಕೆಲವು ಕೇಕ್ ಗಳು. ಕೇಕ್ ಗಳ ಚಿತ್ರ ನೋಡಲು ಫೇಸ್ ಬುಕ್ ಮತ್ತು instagram ನಲ್ಲಿ ಅನುಸರಿಸಿ 😊👍❤️

How do take-outs work

 As received on whatsapp - for my reference

Before placing food order through ZAMOTA or SWIGGY  please think twice. Please read the following to understand better 🤔🤔🤔🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

How the food delivery commerce works? 

If I order 2 idlis with chutney and 1 masala dosa with sambar, from a nearby restaurant which is 1.5 km from home, the total bill comes to 177.3 rupees. Very normal darshini kind of a hotel. You can choose any aggregator like Swiggy or Zomato. 

1. Food - 110/- 

2. GST - 6.30 

3. Packing - 16/-

4. Delivery - 45/- 

Total - 177.30

This is the customer bill. 

You pay 67.30 extra, or 38% of what you spend on this order is on Non-food services. 62% is for food. 

So, the broad allocation is 62% for food, 5% to the government, 9% for packing and 25% for delivery. 

Now, let us take a look at how the restaurant reconciliation happens, after 10 days of the transaction. 

Amount paid to the restaurant = 70% of the order value. Zomato and Swiggy take 30% as sales commission.

Restaurant receives - 0.7 X 110 = 77/-

Amount paid to delivery partner = 15/- 

Amount paid to government = 6.30

Amount that Zomato or Swiggy pockets = 79/-

Now, if you analyze percentages and look at how much each of them have benefited from the transaction, you will realize this.

Food - 43.4% and non food - 56.6%.

Restaurant share - 43.4%

Delivery partner share - 8.5%

Government - 3.5%

Zomato / Swiggy share - 44.6%

So, what actually happens when this is how the transaction actually looks like? 

1. Quality and quantity of food. 

Your dine in experience is going to be much different as compared to food being ordered through a 3rd party.

2. Highly inflated prices on aggregator portals.

As a restaurant, if I need to run discounts and still manage to keep riding the gravy train, I need to raise my prices by 150% at least. That only means that the aggregator makes more money and the customer pays for it.

3. Food delivery in itself is not a sustainable practice with our inefficient solid waste management, use of plastic and the extremely affordable fuel prices.

There's another secret  wish to share. Most restaurants also have a "police menu" that is cooked separately for their "free takeaways", generally cooked with the most inferior ingredients. So, if you are offered biryani in a police station, please refuse it politely. 

Still hungry. Please reach for a chopping board and a frying pan and enjoy

Time to dig in.

delivery partners are making more money than restaurants...

😳🧐

PS : Forwarded as received on Whatsapp

ಚಪಾತಿ

 ಆಕೆಯ 100 ನೆ ಹುಟ್ಟು ಹಬ್ಬದ ಸಂದರ್ಭ. ಮಕ್ಕಳು, ಮರಿ ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಅವರ ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಎಲ್ಲ ಸೇರಿದ್ದರು

ಆಕೆ ಮಾಡುವ ಚಪಾತಿ ಹಲವು ಕಡೆ ಪ್ರಖ್ಯಾತ ಆಗಿತ್ತು. ಮಾತ್ರವಲ್ಲದೆ ನೆರೆ, ಅತಿ ಮಳೆ, ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಕೊರೊನ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲೂ ಹಲವರಿಗೆ ಎಸ್ಕೆ ಚಪಾತಿ ಮಾಡಿ ಕಳುಹಿಸಿ ಬಹು ಜನರ ಹೊಗಳಿಕೆಗೆ ಪಾತ್ರರಾಗಿದ್ದರು.

ಹಲವಾರು ಜನರು ಆಕೆಯ ಮೆತ್ತಗಿನ ಚಪಾತಿ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಕೇಳಿದರು. ಆಗ ಆಕೆ ನಗುತ್ತ..ಏನಿಲ್ಲ ಚಿಕ್ಕ ಪ್ರಾಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಿಟ್ಟು ಬಂದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲ ಚಪಾತಿ ಹಿಟ್ಟು ಕಲಸಿ ಅದನ್ನು ಗುದ್ದಿ ಗುದ್ದಿ, ಹಿಟ್ಟು ಮೆತ್ತ ಗಾಗುತ್ತಿತ್ತು, ಸಿಟ್ಟು ಶಮನವಾಗುತ್ತಿತ್ತು. ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಅದನ್ನೇ ರೂಢಿ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡೆ. ಇನ್ನೇನೂ ವಿಶೇಷವಿಲ್ಲ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ. ಮೆತ್ತನೆಯ ಚಪಾತಿ ಜತೆಗೆ ನನ್ನ ಸ್ವಭಾವವೂ ಶಾಂತವಾಗಿದೆ ಅಂತ ನಕ್ಕರು

(ನಿನ್ನೆ ಚಪಾತಿ ಹಿಟ್ಟು ಕಲೆಸುವಾಗ ಹೊಳೆದಿದ್ದು)

Call me by your name

 Call me by your name is the coming of age  story of teenager ellio who has homosexual leanings. A good must watch movie. Available on Netflix

The title has nothing to do with the movie though. I found the flowers that i was named after, malathi pushpam, wild jasmine that grows in the wilderness of malnad hill ranges. We have it in our teerthahalli agricultural lands too. They have a heady/intoxicating fragrance and grow in summers and through the monsoons... These vines climb to a great height...

This is a picture of me with wild jasmines on our short trek to the light house, belekan, Gokarna

Obbattu & mixed fruits rasayana

 

I have been helping my mom in the kitchen from the age of 12. Mostly manual grinding was my department. My dad had a good senior post at the bank at a very young age. But he had other familial financial constraints and added to that he invested in shares , very heavily i must say. Once there was this huge fire and a stock market crash and we  really needed to make ends meet, with our own financial needs and also catering to all the relations and guests. So we led a very simple life in mumbai.  we had to use to kerosene stove, manual grinding etc...to save on money. Standing in line at the ration shop with bags made from our old uniform, stitched by amma...are somethings i remember and keeps me grounded and humble. 

All this recap for...i am no good at preparing obbattu/holige. Obbattu was a family activity. We made this a day prior to 'holi' festival.  My duties began with grinding mustard to give a yellow colour to the dough. Then grinding the boiled chana dal with jaggery to the required consistency. We helped at every stage and i know all the details. Yet when i tried on my own, after my wedding, it turned out so hard i almost broke my teeth...i tried 2 mote times but no good

Last sunday attended the wedding of our best friends daughter..and i had this awesome holige and mixed fruits rasayana and wanted to try this combo at home. So got obbattu/holige from mangaluru stores and made the rasayana for Ugadi 2022.

Hope you all had a great Ugadi ❤️❤️😊

The mixed fruit rasayana has musk melon, apple, green grapes, banana and pomegranate. Jaggery, coconut milk and crushed cardamoms.